Journey Note
When a Personal Goal Starts to Feel Like Pressure
2 Sep 2026
This time, I managed to update four Surahs: Ash-Shams, Al-Lail, Al-Kawthar and An-Nasr.
I've been struggling to complete these updates, especially with the long weekend. Somehow, when I don't make any progress, I start feeling bad, like I'm not being productive and I'm wasting my time. Eventually, something that I genuinely love doing starts to feel like a burden.I think part of the pressure comes from one thought that I always have, what if I only have one more day left in this dunia?
My lifetime goal is to complete the tadabbur of all 114 Surahs and memorise as many as I can. Sometimes I'm afraid that I won't have enough time to reach that goal.
But I also don't want that fear to make me rush through the Quran just for the sake of completing it. I need to remind myself that tadabbur is not about how fast I can finish, but how much I can understand, reflect and bring into my life.
Alhamdulillah, I eventually managed to complete all four updates. Ash-Shams is the latest Surah I memorised, while Al-Lail is the latest Surah in my tadabbur progress.
A few things stay with me:
Ash-Shams, Ayat 14 really hit me. One of my biggest reflections was about kemungkaran — that we shouldn't simply remain quiet and become comfortable when wrongdoing happens around us. When the azab of Allah comes, its impact may not be limited only to those committing the wrongdoing.
Al-Lail reminded me so much about giving for the sake of Allah. Towards the end of the Surah, the ayat describe someone who gives his wealth seeking only the pleasure of Allah, which tafsir associates with Saidina Abu Bakr رضي الله عنه. His willingness to give so much of what he had for Allah is something that really stayed with me.
Al-Kawthar made me reflect on the meaning of kebaikan yang banyak. Among the greatest goodness Allah can give us is the hikmah and understanding of the Quran, and one of the ways we seek that understanding is through tadabbur. The Surah also reminds me that when Allah gives us so much, our response should be gratitude, and one of the greatest ways we show that gratitude is through our solat.
And An-Nasr feels completely different when we know that it was also a sign that Rasulullah ﷺ's time in this dunia was coming to an end. His mission was reaching its completion, and not long after, he ﷺ passed away.
Perhaps that is also a reminder for me.
I keep worrying about whether I have enough time to complete everything, but what matters is what I do with the time Allah gives me.
Along the way, I also made some changes to the overall homepage, and hopefully it now gives a better experience for anyone reading and exploring the notes.
Four more Surahs updated, Alhamdulillah.
Still a long way to go, but one Surah at a time.